Reflecting, Recovery and Reasons to be positive

I haven’t written for weeks now. Not for any particular reason, I have been busy working six days a week but my time away from blogging hasn’t been wasted. I have had a clear head for a long time and it has given me time to reflect on lots of things and work on a few issues that needed attention.

I guess by nature i am not a glass half full person. My glass is more of the smashed into a million pieces than half empty kind and I have been working very hard on focusing on the many things in my life I am thankful for. Trying to be positive when nothing positive happens can be hard yet there are so many positives I was just looking in the wrong places.

I have some wonderful friends who are always there for me if I reach out to them. Some reach out to me if im quiet for a bit just to make sure im alright and I appreciate the effort so much.

I can be guilty of neglecting my friends needs and im working on reconnecting with people and rebuilding relationships with those I feel I have let down over a period of time.

I am trying to be more aware of my faults and feel like I have made massive strides forward in how I view and treat myself in the past few weeks. The smile on my face these days is real though I have come through the worst part of my life and can really see that the corner has been turned.

People will like me and people will hate me and whatever they decide its not going to impact on me anymore. I am a good person and I would be a liar if I said I dont fuck up at times. I am impulsive and have a nasty vicious tongue and instead of taking a deep breath im a 2 minute volcano – this is the area Im working on the most.

I’m in a good place and my recovery has moved on a lot once I cleared my head of negativity. I can live in the past and be unhappy or I can live my life today and see where it takes me. The options are that simple and Im choosing to live it now.

I have seen the confidence returning, the smile natural not forced and I genuinely feel like I am on the verge of something big happening.

Learning to appreciate the great things in your life is a great tool because it shows you’re focusing on the right things.

I am enjoying having people encourage me to write because they enjoy reading my work. I am happy when I feel like I make a difference, and my mood has been very different in the past month.

Garry or moose its great being me again and looking forward to each day. Im tired working so much but Im trying different ways to channel my energy and release negativity and so far its working. I cannot stress enough the importance of an outlet when it comes to good mental health and whilst I may not yet be where I want, I am closer than I was yesterday.

And as for one person in particular…Im ready to take that glint in the eyes and smile on your face when you see me and roll with it.

Advertisements

MARvelous aCHievements (March)

Right here we go! time to stop focusing on the negatives and start banging our own drums and trumpets!

In my infinite wisdom I have declared March to be the month to celebrate our MARvelous aCHievements (see what I did there? genius I tells ya!!)

Time to focus on anything we have achieved in the past – there is nothing too small that we can celebrate. The small things soon snowball into something bigger, yet without that first small success nothing would have happened!

So who is with me on this? lets all talk about our wonderful successes and kick negativity into touch for a while!

To get the ball rolling let me refer you to this time last year…

March 2012 was the month that I was ready to end it all! Window was opened and my feet were on the sill ready to jump.

This post here will remind you of my darkest hour My Point of no return

and now look at me 12 months on

  • I write a blog aimed at helping others
  • I have self published 3 books that have sales in 3 figures
  • People come to me looking for support and guidance
  • over 40 thousand people have read my blog!
  • I have made more new friends this past 12 months than at any time in my life!

thats five things to celebrate and feel proud about! I bet you can come up with some for yourself as well!

how about sharing them on twitter with us all using #MooseMarch and lets have some fun with feeling good about ourselves for a change!

 

 

Back From the Brink

Today is gonna be a good day, the start of a good week, and hopefully the start of a great November (well the rest of it anyway)

I feel absolutely shattered but went for a nice walk in the rain to clear away some cobwebs and spend some pennies in Sainsburys** and can not feel my arms as the shopping bags were bleeding heavy.

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past few weeks about things from my past that may or may not have caused me to be depressed and whilst there are things I do not want to write about some of them for fear of hurting others I am more aware of where I have been as a person and proud of where I am now.

A lot of mistakes have been made by myself that hold me back now both personally and professionally but I am determined not to dwell on them and do things my way (sounds like a good idea for a song! wonder if its been done already?)

But this week I am excited and not because of something happening to me but rather something that is happening to a dear sweet friend of mine, someone I am proud to have in my life who has been through a rough time recently. I hope this week, and next brings her lots of joy because without her friendship I would not be here today! I wont name her but I am pretty sure she knows who she is.

Exciting things for me will happen in time of that I am confident, I have enough support and prayers going up for me to not have a little bit of faith in good times ahead.

I am excited about this amazing book idea I had it is gonna make me the most famous depressed moose in the world (evil laughter) but unfortunately there is no software available yet to take the ideas out of my head and put them into a word document so I will have to get cracking soon before the idea disappears.

And of course there is the big event in 17 days where all my followers and friends send me shed loads of presents to open! 34 soon sigh I still think of myself as a 18 year old but then those were the days when I was in my peak not like today when I have the body of a 70 year old! (apologies to any 70 year old readers)

So what have you got to be excited about? a new “friend”?  a birthday? the Christmoose season? there must be something in the near future to get you excited***

Lets start this week feeling positive and hopefully good things will follow Lord knows we could do with a break!

** other supermarkets are available

*** it is ok to admit you’re excited by my new book I wont punish you for it 😀