Remembering Who I Was

Making this blog active again and reopening my facebook page has been a real eye opener for me. For the first time in a very long time I actually feel like I belong somewhere again. I feel a great deal of pride in what this blog accomplished many years ago and as a stat whore my numbers astonish me that a humble little blog could have such a big number of views, visits and followers considering the subject matter. Writing about mental health has been a challenge at times when I could barely function yet its been a life saver and changer for me at times. Check out the photo below this little site is nearing ninety three thousand views!! 93,000 imagine that!

Having this site available to the world again gives an insight into my journey from depression heartbreak suicide attempts and recovery and back into heartbreak again. The majority of the posts here where written when I was suffering from depression and then once I felt that life had finally brought happiness again I walked away from a world where I was well known, respected and someone who was available for others at their lowest points. In 2013 I was on the end of the phone to 7 people as they were at the point of ending things and I talked them around – more than anything this is something Im extremely proud of. I made a difference to people.

I’ve spoken about mental health from my experiences and many other personal aspects of my life and the feeling of goodwill I have received has really boosted my self esteem in the last few days. I forgot I was good at writing, I forgot I could be interesting to other people.

I need to look after my own health both physical and mental. As far as depression goes right now I would be honest enough to admit I’m struggling. I’ve been a lot worse and I have no real fears mentally.

I feel happier than I have in a while. I’m busy reconnecting with old friends healing wounds building bridges and finally remembering that in actual fact I’m not that bad. I’m flawed in many ways but I’m a good person if allowed to be me. maybe that was part of the problem, I was too busy being stifled to be the man who helped countless others..

so today I can go to sleep feeling proud of myself once more and feeling like I have finally found my place again

 

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Nature, Science, Music, Friends and a Happy Moose

Yesterday I went for another meet up in London with some friends. Facebook friends for years but we had never met in person and I was delighted when Nicholaus sent me a message telling me he would be coming to London and would I like to meet up with him. As a couple of other friends worked in the area I messaged them and we arranged for them to join us as well.

I left home 3 hours before our planned meeting time and headed to South Kensington tube station excitedly as I had a brainwave to visit the Natural History Museum beforehand. I still have fond memories of a visit there when I was 10 or 11 but hadn’t been again so I was looking forward to roaming the walls of the building again.

Natural History Museum

Natural History Museum

 

The building itself is stunningly beautiful never mind the exhibits just the amazon architecture blows me away.

As you walk into the building your greeted by a dinosaur

The diet had worked a bit too well!

The diet had worked a bit too well!

There was also an exhibit of some massive antlers! imagine the size of the beast who wore these things..

Too big even for my massive head!

Too big even for my massive head!

I really was in my element wandering around, ipod on, lost in the wonders of the museum.

Taking photos of the building as much as the exhibits, especially as the lighting in the place is not great for photos but I did at least try! David Bailey I am not!

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The ceiling of the museum

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Having spent a good hour and half around the museum it was time to meet Nicholaus. By this point I was buzzing, the museum really helped relax me and when Nicholaus arrived, after getting the hour later train then having a power cut at Victoria underground station LOL we headed to the Science museum.

I am more interested in natural history than science if truth be told so much preferred the Natural History Museum but must admit to being devastated at the price of a decent moose hat in the shop! But £12 for a novelty hat is well outside my budget! heck that would have cut into my Big Mac fund 😀

Next we headed to the Royal Albert Hall

Moose at the Royal Albert Hall

where we were joined by the others

Moosetagnon and the 3 Mooseketeers

Moosetagnon and the 3 Mooseketeers

 

The beer was great and the conversation even better – easily the best day of the year for me! I had an absolute blast meeting with these friends for the first time. I really do best in social situations like this! despite my miserable bastard persona at time I love being around people and this was such a wonderful day!

A day of culture for the moose – who’d a thunk it!

And as the day was so good I rewarded myself on the way home

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However someone forgot to take his IBS tablets for the day and the day was almost ruined whilst trying to find 30p to use the toilet at Victoria Station! THIRTY PENCE! honestly what a joke to have to pay to use the toilets, but thankfully I made it JUST in time.

Luckily for you guys I decided against photographing the aftermath but if I had taken a picture it would have looked something like this…

why I MUST take my IBS tablets

why I MUST take my IBS tablets

 

I really cannot recommend enough making plans with friends and getting out and about! It always makes me feel on top of the world to be around people who WANT my company and want to be with me. Living on the border of East London means it is only 25 minutes to the West End for me and I really enjoy heading to London  for the day to socialise!

The rewards of the struggle to get out are so worth the trouble – if you get the chance to make some plans do so! make some if you have not already I will happily meet people at any station in London for a day out! This is the 4th time this year I have managed to meet people! Im bloody proud of myself for this and already making plans for the next meeting.

London is waiting for you and the Moose will be your guide if you need it. I am fairly cheap, normally a beer and a MacDonald’s will keep me happy and I guarantee it will be worth your while!

You will even get a depressedmoose.com business card for your troubles and they are priceless, and by that I mean I did not pay for them 😀